I'd LOOOVE to be able to post works in progress of covers and all that, but generally that all happens within the final 48 hours of the release and there simply isn't time.

So perhaps I need something different to blog about here...or maybe I can use this space to post random other bits of Toehider art that I do.

That sounds like it could be a plan.  From now on any odds and ends that I draw or create that is at all related to Toehider, be it for future things, random shit I do just for my own enjoyment or things with an immediate purpose, I'll post it here.

As long as Mike says it's ok.

Why are Things So Heavy in the Future? - This track was originally going to have vocals doubling the guitar line, but it sounded cool the way it was, and I could have potentially wrecked it. Sounds like my guitar is a little out of tune... that was done on purpose.... honest...

Do You Believe in Monsters - This one started life as a song for the Christmas album, and it was to be called "Mysterioustmas", I was going to write the lyrics about the Icelandic Yule Lads, but I decided it was probably too dark and heavy for a Christmas album. 
The chanting at the start took quite a while, I'm saying "sarcalogos" , which I think is Latin for Christ. The lyrics are probably a little too personal to go into too much, maybe I'll tell you next time I'm drunk haha. The little stupid guitar part at 3:00 is supposed to sound like a spider crawling up the wall. The bridge sounds like I'm trying to sound like Devin Townsend, in fact the chorus sounds a lot like the "Eat your beets/recycle" part of a Devin Townsend track called "Earth Day" 
I think at about 4:42 or so I start the transformation from man to beast! Another one of my fascinations with wanting to be a werewolf. I tried to do a death/screamo scream, but I suck at those, so I ended up electronically pitching my voice progressively lower. I wanted to make the longest fadeout ever, and the riff is obviously Sabbath-influenced.

Too Much Information - I wanted to try to make a musical equivalent of spending a few hours on the Internet. You know, being exposed to so much information that you can't retain any of it? 
The second verse is an homage to the early stereo recordings, where they'd put the whole band in the right speaker, and all the vocals in the left. It's hard headphone listening. 
There's a theremin on there, courtesy of the iPhone app "bebot" 
This sounds a lot like "Dick Around" by Sparks really, that relentless vocal thing. That awkward, sudden fadeout was intentional, I've been listening to a lot of Beach Boys lately, and ALL their recordings do this, almost like "Ok shows over, let's get the hell outta here!"

I Don't Really Know You That Well Yet - This one was an attempt to marry Rush and the Foo Fighters, two bands that I have a love/hate relationship with. There's a lot of odd time signatures, but I wanted to make the lyrics very flowing. It makes sense that we don't speak in a perfect rhythm, so singing in odd times is a little easier in some ways, gives you more flexibility with syllables etc. 
Second verse is totally The Police, except when the solo comes in. It's a very 80's solo I guess, I must have did about 10 takes of it, and this is the last one. 
There's kinda like a vocal solo there too, which is the result of not wanting to put in ANOTHER guitar solo haha. 
Lyrical subject matter could best be summed up with a quote from the film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - "Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?"

Give Myself to Science - Total old-school Deep Purple style rock. I guess the keyboard intro was influenced by the Genesis track "Watcher of the Skies". And the little noisy bit leading up to the main riff was TOTALLY nicked from Queen's "Death on Two Legs". 
The drums for this one were recorded once again by good friend Peter Marin, this was another guitar solo that took forever to get. Soloing over those odd bars is trickier than I anticipated. 
My voice sounds a little burnt, this was the last track I did the vocals for, tired and the higher notes are a little shaky.

I Can't Help But Follow It - That brief massive storm hit on the night of the 11th, so I stuck a microphone out the back door and recorded the rain and thunder. 
The vocals were recorded at 3am in the morning or so. Not really sure what I'm singing about haha. Sounds like I'd rather follow a werewolf out into the forest than stay at home where it's safe.

OK PENCILS DOWN This album isn't any particular theme, it is lacking in humourous songs. Salty has done an amazing job depicting the Toe Hider's more grotesque side, and I've done an amazing job ripping off all my favourite bands!!

Dear Santa,

All I want this year is to be sure once and for all, I really need for you to tell me what's your deal?
I've heard some of the older ones, they laugh about you, saying you're not real...
Now I'm much too old for fairy tales and magic lands and other nonsense that I used to read of in my youth
Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is the truth!

They say you're imaginary
Have I no reason to believe.
The old ones at school?


How can I believe what I've been told?
I'm no longer 4 years old
And I'm not a fool
How can I believe in you?



Dear Santa,

You mean to tell me that these past 8 years are nothing but an elaborate fabricated lie?
How come when I was 6 I swear I saw you wave and blaze across the sky?
And then last Christmas Eve, I'm sure I saw your wooly sleeve and heard the ringing of your bells all down the hall
I'm scared that if I don't believe, then you won't come at all...

Some is for, and some against.
These books aren't making any sense
They just fill this shelf.

And this, my mother said to me
"Is He real or fantasy?
Decide for yourself.
He's true if you think that he's true"
Then I'll still believe in you.

(Keyboard solo by Andrew "Salty" Saltmarsh!!)

'Carol of the Bells' by Mykola Dmytrovych is easily the most supreme Christmas Carol known to man, I've heard so many times over the years, but I didn't realize its full potential until Salty suggested I cover it.

And I've got to say it's one of the more challenging things I've done vocally. First of all, the soprano part has virtually no room for breath, and second, it's really bloody hard to actually sing words up that high, as opposed to just going "Waahhhhh!!!" Third, I really went nuts trying to get a full "choir" sound, I think it's about 30 or 40 vocal overdubs.

I couldn't resist trying it out in a hard rock style. It's how I'm made. So I guess it made sense just to put both versions out.

I don't know what came over me, I can't explain
My baby brother sat there, and he took the blame.
I thought I got away with it, I thought I had I had it pinned
But mother said his helpers saw the whole thing

I tried to be good, I tried to behave
The devil on my shoulder, led me astray
Will he still come for me, will he still spread his cheer
If I make a promise to try harder next year?

So I've been sent to my room, with not much to say
Would it be easier if I just ran away?
I guess the writing's on the wall now, and it won't come clean.
And I guess that the big man knows everything....

I tried to be good, I tried to behave
The devil on my shoulder, led me astray
Will he still come for me, will he still spread his cheer
If I make a promise to try harder next year?

And I'm scared I've scarred my soul
And I'm scared of being told
And I'm scared of unwrapping coal.

Ding Dong Merrily on high, such a loverly and funny fun time of year!
Santa's singing on his Sleigh, I can hear him come to spread his Christmas cheer!
But far beyond the clouds and forest trees there sits a creature shrugged and looking rather grim.
But I'll be waiting here under the mistletoe for him...


Off-key caroling, roll out the barrel and the boys begin to shout
Festive pestering, ingestive festering's what Christmas is all about!
But ahh! alas there's one particular person who is missing out on all of this excess!
But I'll be waiting here, under the mistletoe...unless...

Socks and slippers on, it's after 6 o'clock so hurry up my pets, inside, inside!
Time for medicine, no need to fuss, just single file! And open WIIIDDDEE
And way beyond the frosty mountaintops you mope and hope for something triple-fun to do...
But I'll be barefoot, waiting here under the mistletoe for you.

Now I'm growing old and wiser, and it's Christmas after all, you know.
So there'll be no more shying from the moonlight, love, or hiding from the Mistletoe...

Goodnight girls and boys, blow out your candles, sleep tight this Christmas Eve!
Stop your rot, to sleep! Can't wait to cop what old St. Nick has up his sleeve!
Ahh and when the sun is done and sets itself beyond the line where sky and mountaintop unite
I'll be wishing you under the mistletoe,
I'll missing you under the mistletoe
I'll be kissing you under your mistletoe tonight...

Over the next dozen or so days, the new Toehider EP "Under the Mistletoe" will be released for free, a track at a time. Up there in the Santa-hat-wearing-question-mark button, there's a link inside for the first tune - "Ding Dong Merrily on High". Every two days, the tracklisting will eventually turn to download links. Plus, links to awesome pieces of Salty artwork will magically appear as well! It's like an awesome advent-mp3-calendar!

In a time when your letterbox gets stuffed with lousy money-grabbing scrooges guilt tripping you into spending a fortune on all sorts of unnecessary crap, I thought it'd be cool to spread the good ol' fashioned Christmas cheer, one song at a time!!!

Happy Holidays people!

Well, not really. As long as it's not written to specifically sell clothing and soft drinks, pop rock is cool by me. A lot of my favourite bands could probably be classed as pop rock - The Beatles, Queen, The Police etc. There's always been a side to me that wants to write grandiose, epic classically inspired 15 minute opuses, but there's another side to me that just wants to fit in, y'know?

I don't really know too much about the purpose of music, I don't know if it's more for the listener, or more for the creator. I guess it's a balance of both, but I know nothing about where the two extremes meet, or how they should meet. And in all honesty, I hope I never figure it out.